Changing Custody Permanent Orders Are Only Temporary

A divorce settlement is not necessarily a permanent answer to the needs of the children and parents. Visitation and custody issues can arise as children grow. Schedules change. Interests and extra curricular activities change. Even parents who work together are likely to experience some post-divorce crises involving children. However, if both parents cooperate, they can overcome these obstacles.

After deciding custody cases, the judge may advise the parents about the probability of a change in custody and visitation after divorce, because even "permanent" custody orders are only temporary. Sometimes children initiate a change in custody or visitation when they become teenagers. The teenager may think life would be better for them if they lived with the non-custodial parent. They may need changes in visitation, especially as they enter the workforce.

By working together, the parents can adapt to the changing needs of each other and their children. There are some ways to make these transitions easier for everyone involved. Consider the needs of the children, but do not base changes in custody solely on the wishes of the children. Even asking the child where they want to live or what the visitation schedule should be is a considerable amount of pressure to place on a child. When discussing visitation and custody arrangements, the ex-spouses should speak directly to each other instead of through the children.

Be respectful of the other parent. Do not attempt to make your ex-spouse look bad. This is psychologically damaging to your child. Don't spend huge sums of money trying to appeal to the children. Any attempt to better your image at the expense of your ex-spouse's is low and potentially damaging and traumatic to the children. Be respectful of the time allotted for the other parent to spend with the children. Keep the visitation schedule in a prompt manner. Do not make excuses for not adhering to the visitation schedule. Recognize that the children need time with both parents.

There are times when being flexible in scheduling is beneficial. Remember that even though you are no longer spouses after the divorce, you will always be parents. Being accommodating whenever possible can foster a sense a teamwork between you and your ex-spouse. If you have arguments with your ex-spouse about divorce-related issues, consider meeting with a divorce mediator. If parents can maintain an amiable relationship after the divorce, it makes it so much easier to overcome any obstacles that affect custody and visitation.

Next article: Alimony And Child Support