Practicing Forgiveness - Part Of Healing

Forgiveness is part of the healing process during a divorce. Bitter resentment towards your spouse or others only damages your emotional health. The pain you feel does not hurt those who have hurt you. It only damages your ability to focus your attention on your growth and goals.

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. When you hold onto resentment and anger, it jeopardizes your time, energy, and resources thinking about them. What you do when you forgive them is take back the time and energy that you spent in resentment towards others and refocus that energy on yourself. It is impossible to move forward when you are dwelling on them and what they did against you.

Forgiveness is taking back the power and control of your life. With forgiveness, you can let go of the hold others have on you. This gives you the freedom to make positive changes in your life and reach new goals.

Forgiving others can feel uncomfortable. If you decide to meet the person face-to-face or call them on the telephone to forgive them, then prepare what you want to say ahead of time. You may feel that writing a letter to them is the only way you feel capable of expressing forgiveness. Forgiving someone is not easy. Congratulate yourself for making that healthy decision to forgive instead of holding grudges, which only hold you back from personal growth.

If you do not feel able to express your forgiveness directly to the person, you can still forgive them. One way is to write a letter to the person you need to forgive. This letter is for your own benefit, not to send to that person. In the letter, let the person know how they hurt you, but that you forgive them and are moving on with your life. Another method is to pray for that person, expressing your forgiveness to God and asking God to bless that person. Or, you may picture that person in your mind and forgive them and tell them that you forgive them for what they have done.

You may need to forgive yourself. You may have made mistakes in your marriage or feel guilt related to the divorce. You need to accept the fact that you are a growing, learning human being. Sometimes, we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. No one person can save a marriage. It always takes at least two people to make marriage work. Accept yourself, your mistakes, and your shortcomings and learn from your experiences. Forgive yourself and embrace who you are. Forgiveness of yourself and others will improve your ability to build healthy relationships in the future.