Do It Yourself Divorce

The focus of the recent changes in the divorce laws is to lessen the chances for animosity to develop between the divorcing spouses. To this end, the lawyers and judges who make up the legal system should and generally do attempt to be helpful to those who wish to represent themselves in court. However, in some counties in the United States, there may continue to be very strong resistance to allowing self-help divorces. Local judges, attorneys, and even court clerks may make the legal process much more difficult than necessary in an effort to discourage self-help law. Unfortunately, if unusually strong hostility is encountered when dealing with the local legal system on a self-help basis, there may be no realistic alternative other than obtaining a lawyer. You should be able to find an attorney who will use the material that you have already prepared and work on an hourly basis for simply filing the papers and appearing in court with you. This will still be far more economical than having a lawyer do all of the work involved.

If you answer YES to all of the following questions, then a do-it-yourself divorce may work for you.

• Have you and your spouse essentially agreed that you both wish to end your marriage and go your separate ways in peace?
• Do you feel that you and your spouse can cooperate enough to come to some form of fair agreement regarding the division of all your property and bills?
• If you have children, do you feel certain that you and your spouse can reach a fair and reasonable agreement regarding child custody, visitation, and child support?
• Are you able to firmly state your wishes to your spouse and not be intimidated by him or her and has your marriage been totally free of spouse or child abuse?
• Are you or your spouse NOT in active military service?
• Have no previous legal proceedings been instituted for a divorce, legal separation, child custody, or domestic violence between you and your spouse?
• If you have been married for over 5 years, are you presently employed or capable of supporting yourself?

If any of the answers to the previous questions are NO, then it is highly advisable to seek the aid of an attorney. Competent low-cost legal aid is often available from local Legal Aid Society offices or from local legal clinics. Law schools in your area may have programs that can provide free or low-cost help with simple legal matters. State Bar Associations often have low-cost legal referral services.

If during the process of attempting to settle a divorce, you or your spouse become hostile to the point of being unable to rationally discuss the terms of a settlement, it is advisable to seek an attorney or mediator for assistance. In addition, if at any time during the process of attempting to do your own divorce, you become overwhelmed by the complications involved or become confused regarding your rights, it is advisable to seek the assistance of an attorney. Very importantly, if at any time your spouse filed any legal papers for a divorce outside the context of your settlement discussions or if your spouse retains an attorney, you must seek legal help immediately.

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